Today I am feeling lost. So much of my identity and my relationships with people centers around alcohol. I think that is part of the reason why I failed yesterday and drank. The large majority of my family and friends don’t understand shy I am doing this. They think I am really not that bad. They don’t see me falling down drunk all the time and so that must mean that I don’t have a drinking problem, right? My friends saw me really upset yesterday about my step daughter and encouraged me to drink. Mod course, only my husband and a couple of friends know that I am trying to stop drinking and get sober. Neither my hubby or my girlfriend tried to stop me yesterday. And not that they should be the ones to tell me to stop, but a stern look or an “are you sure you want to do this” may have helped me to take a step back and make a healthier decision.
That being said, I think I struggle because nobody in my life really wants me to stop drinking. Even my husband drinks every day, and my friends basically drink whenever we get together. Either imam not cut out for this, or it’s going to be a very lonely road for me. Jeez, listen to me with my little pity party!! So not wanting to sound like a whiny ass, but it’s how I am feeling right now. Maybe I should check out AA – at least I would get to know some like minded people.
So now I guess I start
with the rock at the bottom of the hill. I have to get busy pushing that thing!