Today was my very first open water swim practice, and I was SO intimidated by the notion of swimming in the murky lake with seaweed and fish and other such creatures, as well as my relative lack of swimming skills. But, I donned my wetsuit, jumped in, and practiced. After about five minutes I stopped freaking out about being in the lake with all of the flora and fauna, and started to concentrate on my swim technique (which is weak, to say the least). And with each stroke, I became more confident. Maybe I CAN complete this triathlon on August 4th (holy crap – August 4th is just around the corner!)
I guess I could liken swimming to my sobriety journey. With each stroke, I become more confident in my swimming abilities – and with each sober day, I become more confident that sobriety is what I want – that the sober life is the life that I want to live. I want to FEEL the ups and downs – whereas before I would simply level out the peaks and valleys with chardonnay.
On a different note, today I told someone at work about my journey to sobriety. I feel like if I tell people (especially people that I really respect, like the woman I told at work), I will be held that much more accountable to remain sober. She was a very big drinker when she was younger (she is in her 60s now), and quit drinking 20 years ago. She said she was very proud of me and really happy for me. Made me feel good to have a cheerleader in my corner.
So, I really have to stay sober this weekend, and of course I will, as I’m never drinking again. But I have lots of tri training this weekend: Saturday will be a bike/run brick with my tri training group, and Sunday is going to be a brutal 54 mile HILLY bike ride with my century ride training group. We did our century ride at the beginning of the month, but we have all decided to keep doing group rides so that we don’t lose what we’ve built up. And of course, with those two activities, I absolutely don’t want to be hung over.
And I won’t. Because I’m not drinking anymore.