I can’t believe I’m already three quarters of the way through the 100 day challenge. Honestly, I almost feel guilty that it has been as easy as it’s been for me – especially after the first few troublesome weeks. I really and truly feel like over the past six months or so, I’ve just been SO ready to walk away from the ridiculousness that once I finally decided to do it, nothing could stop me.
I’d totally be lying if I said that I don’t have pangs of longing for my dear friend chardonnay anymore. Of course I do! I love the feel of those first couple of sips – warm, glowing, happy. But somewhere along the way, it turns into a complete shit show where I’m swigging back three, four, five, six glasses – getting sloppy – getting overly emotional – and making bad decisions. Seriously, my off switch is busted. So I have to walk away from the booze.
Tomorrow is kind of a big deal for me. At work, we have an annual vendor show for our customers, and tomorrow is the show. It’s my biggest project of the year – I start the planning in the spring for this thing, and we have over 50 vendors coming in, setting up their displays, and hopefully selling a ton of product to our customers. I’m excited, nervous, and busy as hell. The show always culminates with everyone hitting the bar after a successful event, and basically getting plastered. This will be interesting, as I’m always in the center of the celebration, as this is MY event. Not too many people at work know that I’m no longer drinking, so I’m sure there will be a ton of explaining to do. And I’m trying to figure out what I should say. Part of me wants to just tell everyone “Hey, you all have seen me at my worst – obviously, alcohol is NOT a toy for me.” And then another part of me wants to just disappear and not have to deal with it. I guess I’ll just see how it goes.