Wow – here I am at 100 days. Feels amazing!! It’s really hard to believe that back in June, I decided to quit drinking. And yes, I stumbled a few times, but mid-July, I just plain and simple had enough. Here’s what I’ve learned:
– I really enjoy (and look forward to) sleeping. I get a solid 7 hours of sleep every night and wake up feeling SO refreshed.
– My skin looks so much healthier. And my eyes – wow! No more bloodshot eyes staring back at me in the mirror.
– I’m so much more productive, especially in the evenings. If I’m really on my A game, I can even make lunches, pack my son’s book bag, and lay his clothing out for the next day. That REALLY makes my mornings so much less stressful.
– Big one here: no regrets. I don’t have that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when I wake up at 3am, still in a wine induced haze, wondering who I drunk texted, what I said to my friends/family, how the hell I got into my bed, who tucked my son in, etc, etc… This might be the biggest benefit of my 100 days of sobriety so far.
– I am more present in EVERYTHING that I do. from working out to doing laundry to washing my face to reading to my son to answering emails at work.
– Just because I stopped drinking, the problems I had before in my marriage haven’t magically gone away. If anything, they are more pronounced because I’m not drinking to ignore the fact that I’m married to my roommate.
– I’m not necessarily any more patient than I was before, but I try very hard to slow down my emotional responses so that I’m not as reactive as I was with wine on board.
– I’m happy. Even though I’m now in so much more of a different place than many of my family and friends, I’m still so very happy that I did this. I’m happy that I feel GOOD all day long.
Some accomplishments during my 100 days:
Completed a triathlon, lost 2% body fat, can successfully do pull-ups. These are all great physical feats, and I’ve really channeled a lot of my nervous energy (fuck you Wolfie, you can’t make me drink, but you sure as hell will drive me to kick ass at the gym) into pushing myself physically. For the past several years, I’ve been pretty physically active, but since getting sober, I’ve accomplished feats that I never thought possible.
Some things I still have to accomplish:
Mainly the emotional stuff. The physical stuff is easy, relatively speaking. But I’m still trying to learn how to communicate effectively, how to not run away from tough situations, how to be more understanding and patient, and to be the kind of person ALL THE TIME that I am SOME OF THE TIME, if that makes sense. I really need to decide if I want to dig in, do the hard work, and fix my marriage, or if I want to continue to live in the same house and simply coexist with my husband. He is a good man and my son deserves to grow up as part of a happy family. I just need to get my head straight.
Maybe those accomplishments will come in the next 100 days.