Today is day 100!!

Wow – here I am at 100 days.  Feels amazing!!  It’s really hard to believe that back in June, I decided to quit drinking.  And yes, I stumbled a few times, but mid-July, I just plain and simple had enough.  Here’s what I’ve learned:

– I really enjoy (and look forward to) sleeping.  I get a solid 7 hours of sleep every night and wake up feeling SO refreshed. 

– My skin looks so much healthier.  And my eyes – wow!  No more bloodshot eyes staring back at me in the mirror.

– I’m so much more productive, especially in the evenings.  If I’m really on my A game, I can even make lunches, pack my son’s book bag, and lay his clothing out for the next day.  That REALLY makes my mornings so much less stressful. 

– Big one here:  no regrets.  I don’t have that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when I wake up at 3am, still in a wine induced haze, wondering who I drunk texted, what I said to my friends/family, how the hell I got into my bed, who tucked my son in, etc, etc…  This might be the biggest benefit of my 100 days of sobriety so far. 

– I am more present in EVERYTHING that I do.  from working out to doing laundry to washing my face to reading to my son to answering emails at work. 

– Just because I stopped drinking, the problems I had before in my marriage haven’t magically gone away.  If anything, they are more pronounced because I’m not drinking to ignore the fact that I’m married to my roommate. 

– I’m not necessarily any more patient than I was before, but I try very hard to slow down my emotional responses so that I’m not as reactive as I was with wine on board. 

– I’m happy.  Even though I’m now in so much more of a different place than many of my family and friends, I’m still so very happy that I did this.  I’m happy that I feel GOOD all day long. 

Some accomplishments during my 100 days:

Completed a triathlon, lost 2% body fat, can successfully do pull-ups.  These are all great physical feats, and I’ve really channeled a lot of my nervous energy (fuck you Wolfie, you can’t make me drink, but you sure as hell will drive me to kick ass at the gym) into pushing myself physically.  For the past several years, I’ve been pretty physically active, but since getting sober, I’ve accomplished feats that I never thought possible. 

Some things I still have to accomplish:

Mainly the emotional stuff.  The physical stuff is easy, relatively speaking.  But I’m still trying to learn how to communicate effectively, how to not run away from tough situations, how to be more understanding and patient, and to be the kind of person ALL THE TIME that I am SOME OF THE TIME, if that makes sense.   I really need to decide if I want to dig in, do the hard work, and fix my marriage, or if I want to continue to live in the same house and simply coexist with my husband.  He is a good man and my son deserves to grow up as part of a happy family.  I just need to get my head straight. 

Maybe those accomplishments will come in the next 100 days. 

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17 thoughts on “Today is day 100!!

  1. Congratulations! Sounds like you are really hanging in a good place and going in a good direction. Best wishes.

  2. No regrets, being present, happy and being open to examining emotional stuff, WOW!!! Jessie, I am beaming over here. I could not be happier for you. Congratulations!!!

  3. Congratulations on a huge accomplishment! Thank you for sharing what you learned. I am sure you will be able to accomplish your goals for the next 100 days, but for now you can bask in just feeling good for awhile. 🙂

  4. A triatholon? Seriously? Man, I am impressed! I just started jogging 6 weeks ago and the thought of even doing 10K is daunting, let alone a triatholon. Man, you are a superwoman there!

    But congrats on 100 days – that’s wonderful. And it gets better. The emotional stuff evens out and we start to look at life a bit different. We start to see that it’s not about us, and see that there is so much more to life. Don’t try and solve all of life’s issues at the same time…more will be revealed as they say. you’re making progress in many ways – keep at it, and things will unfold the way they need to unfold.

    Wonderful news – that you for sharing!

    Paul

  5. I knew you could do it. And you did.

    So very proud of you for reclaiming your life.

    Huge congrats! And yes–I loved this so much that both of my alter-egos had to “like” your post, lol.

    Shine on hun! -c

  6. You have done so much already, come so far. Enjoy and take your time making decisions, you are just getting to know you again!
    Well done!!!
    Carrie

  7. Amazeballz! Inspiring.. So proud of you girlie! Hugs!

  8. Congratulations! What an amazing 100 days you’ve had. Here’s to 100 more!

  9. Congratulations on your 100 days and your triathlon! Amazing~

    B.

  10. Congrats to you on 100 days (+ a few)!!! I was at 90 days and blew it on day 91, but I was back on track the day after and plan to continue my sobriety indefinitely. I’m struggle with the same issues on marriage front…amazing how the wine “sort of” covered up those up. I drank to hide from it. I now just want to run away – fast & far, but first I think I’m going to first give it everything I have left in me with the help of some professionals. I would encourage you to do everything you can to salvage what you have and make it amazing. Don’t settle for anything less than that.

    • Jen, thank you so much for your comment. I really appreciate hearing from someone who is going through a similar struggle. Congrats on your 90+ days – one day does not make you a failure, rather, it strengthens your resolve to continue on your sober journey. I do plan to seek professional help, as I don’t want to throw away ten years and break apart my family. Just seems so hopeless right now.

  11. So cool! Congrats! Sounds like you are really making progress. The emotional stuff is hard. My husband I had to do A LOT of work when I first go sober, but we were both willing and now our marriage has never been better. I wish you all the best!

  12. Awesome–I knew you could do it. Everything, so great. I was in a relationship that was so not right–I drank so that we could even carry on a convo without me feeling tense and nervous. Needless to say, I’m not in that relationship anymore, but I have to say that finding out how things work between you and the other person is really scary without booze. And, you should be very proud that you’re going down that road, really seeing what is there, what isn’t, what can be worked on, etc. It’s hard, and scary. Hugs. Congrats, too! (Btw, it just keeps getting better…after however long it takes, everyone is different; but it’s true, the calm sets in, you don’t even think that drinking would fix things, au contraire. Keep going!)

  13. One day at a time and boy are you making the MOST of your days! Keep on truckin’! Blessings to you on your continued journey, it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

  14. Way to go Jessie! 🙂

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