I had two glasses of wine this evening. And I refuse to beat myself up about it.
I had been thinking for a few days now that I would really like a glass of wine. My family was over for dinner and I debated long and hard about it. Even my hubby asked if I was sure that I wanted it, and he asked if I was going to feel guilty in the morning. I told him that I wasn’t sure about the guilty feelings, but that I wanted to try the wine. So I did.
I won’t lie – it was good. La Crema Chardonnay. I had two glasses that I nursed. I was buzzed but I didn’t get drunk. I really thought I would have enjoyed it more than I did. But I guess I realize now that, for me, sober is my thing. Sober is the new black. Being in control of myself and conducting myself with a modicum of self respect is way more desirable than that buzzy, silly feeling.
So, after my second glass, I poured myself an iced tea, cuddled up with my son on the couch and played a silly whisper game with him. And I fully realized that I have no desire to drink.
I was four months sober. I will not beat myself up that I drank today. I will not count days anymore. I will just continue on this journey and chalk today up as a learning experience, and a valuable one at that!