I was so excited about having a sober and kickass birthday celebration, and while I had a lovely weekend leading up to my birthday, and a great start to my birthday (sweet cards from my son and husband first thing in the morning), it ended terribly.
The plan all along was for my mom to make her famous homemade chicken pot pie and chocolate cake, and to have my sister and her boyfriend over for a small, low key family dinner. They know I’m not drinking but I’ve always been rather permissive if they want to drink. I guess I figured since it was a Monday night, it would be mellow.
i picked my mom up on my way home from work, since she had a lot of dishes to bring over, mad when I got there, she had been drinking a beer. Alone. Really? I never knew my mom to do that. Ah well, whatever, she is retired now, I guess if she wants a beer, she can have a beer. So, we get to my house, get my car unloaded of two chicken pot pies, a cake, a six year old and ALL the stuff he brings to school. I straighten up a bit before my sister arrives and think of how nice the evening is going to be. At that instant, my mom asks if I have any wine. I had an unopened bottle of white table wine (ick!) and gave her a glass. Then my sister and her boyfriend show up, whit a half case of beer. They all start drinking and basically have their own little party. And, I’m pretty sure my sisters boyfriend was on coke. I had to force them to sit down to dinner and they barely ate. Just kept drinking. And then nobody really wanted birthday cake. It was basically an afterthought.
my son is just starting to read, and he wanted to read a book to my mother. She sat next to him, bombed, as he read to her. She praised him, slurring her words, and my heart just fucking broke. I don’t want my son to remember his grandmother as a drunk. She was just diagnosed with atrial fibrillation, and drinking is a huge risk factor. I know I can’t make her change. But I can be upset about it all.
i could not stop crying this morning. Overly sensitive? Sure. But even my husband recognized what a shit show it was last night, and he isn’t the most sensitive guy.
And of course today I’m eating my body weight in chocolate because I’m feeling down. Because THAT always helps.