It’s been such a crazy week that I’ve barely checked in, but I’m still sober. Yesterday was crazy, from Mass and breakfast at my son’s school at 7:30am to a busy day of meetings at work to the kindergarten fish fry at my son’s school – I felt like I was back in school I was there so long yesterday! I feel so blessed that he goes to such a wonderful school; it’s a small community and so many amazing people are involved to make it feel like one big family. We definitely sacrifice a lot to send him to parochial school, but I do think that (in the case of our public school district) he receives so much more attention and direction. As my sober days continue to grow, I hope to become more involved with volunteering at his school.
Today, I had an “Ava Anderson Non Toxic” party at my house. If you haven’t heard of this, it is an amazing line of non toxic cleaning and personal care items that a friend of mine turned me on to. Anyhow, after Monday’s shit show (my mom getting bombed), I decided to make this afternoon’s party alcohol free. Since it kind of goes along with the “healthy” theme anyhow, I decided to make some healthy snacks and serve iced green tea (my fave) and some sparking water and fancy Italian sodas. I had my two best girlfriends, my sister in law, my mother in law, and my mom in attendance. We had such a fun time! It felt good to just socialize without worrying about how much everyone was drinking. And, bonus: I cleaned my house top to bottom before everyone came over, so now I have some time to just relax on the couch and snuggle with my son.
Tonight, our son is spending the night with my mom and my hubby and I are going out to dinner with another couple. They are our big “wine drinking buddies,” however, they know I’m in training for a run, so I’m using that to explain why I’m not drinking tonight. I hate to lie to them, but honestly, some people just don’t get it when you tell them that you have a drinking problem. So, I’m a runner in training tonight:)
I know that EllaBee posted something along the lines of finally starting to feel more comfortable in her own skin these days. Well, I have been feeling quite the same way. I love this feeling of contentedness and satisfaction with my life that has been washing over me these days. I honestly feel as if I’m coming into my own, and caring how people view the physical me is so not a priority these days. I have heard this song more than once on the radio, and every time I hear it, I cry. I think to myself of how many years I’ve wasted as the girl with zero self esteem that did everything she could to please other people. I mourn those lost years where I wasn’t true to myself because I chose to be the someone that might be more likeable to others. And, it’s so freeing to let that go.